What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

How does an experienced gay/bi guy handle a bi-courius guy on his first time?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What are some best sources of great porn?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Do most narcissists have good intentions as long as you are under their control?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Have you ever seen your wife being fucked?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

TEXT:

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why are men today so pussiefied?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What are the basic human needs according to psychology? What are the consequences of not meeting these needs?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I have BPD. Why do I destroy everyone I love?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

How did Neo defeat the architect at the end of The Matrix: Reloaded? Was it solely due to his belief in himself or were there other factors at play?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why do some people dislike Gilmore girls?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why does my cat get anxious during loud noises like thunderstorms or firework displays? Is this a common behavior for cats, and is there a way to help them cope with it?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!